A Heartfelt Thank You - and an email update service

Jeremy and I have been overwhelmed by all the wonderful messages, calls and cards we've received after Chaser's death. We are so incredibly lucky to have so many wonderful people in our lives that care about us. I can't say that it made losing him any easier, but it certainly meant the world to us. We also got emails from people we don't even know that are reading my blog - which was very thoughtful as well.

We'd like to say a special thank you to the staff at Happy Tails. Happy Tails is the doggie day care center that we took Chase to for the last year or so. He'd progressed to the point that he couldn't make it through a work day without going potty, so we put him in day care. The people there were just wonderful. Chase was already mostly deaf and blind by then - so he was anxious, which translates to one crabby old man when you take him out of his home. So he wasn't exactly the sweet cuddly little dog you all remember when he got to Happy Tails. But they were incredibly patient with him. They spoiled him, they tolerated his less-than-sunny disposition when he was tired or the weather was bad (he hated bad weather). Last winter they even bought him his own little parka to wear outside! They sent pictures home of him playing with his new doggie friends so we could see that he was doing okay during the day. They even put a picture of him up at the center for everyone else to see. He had a few special friends who always had a treat for him and a little extra love. I had planned on going in to let them know last Monday that Chase wouldn't be back, but I couldn't do it - it was just too hard to go back in there. So I emailed them instead. I got a call yesterday telling me how much they missed him and Megan (one of Chaser's special friends) left a comment on the post below. You guys do wonderful work there and I highly recommend them to anyone and everyone!

So on that note - as many of you know, I've been sending out an email to those who were interested each time I updated the blog. But the list keeps getting a little longer, and email addresses change, and I forget to sent it out, etc. So I found a service, FeedBlitz, that will do it for me. On the right side of the blog, underneath the "About Me" section is a new section - "Email subscriptions powered by FeedBlitz". All you need to do is enter your email address to sign up. FeedBlitz will send you a confirming email that you'll have to respond to and you'll then get an email automatically each time I update. The email will contain a link tot he update as well as the text of the latest post, but no pictures or anything - so you'll want to just click on the link.

Note about email notifications: It's totally private - even from me. They don't sell/distribute email addresses, so you won't start getting a bunch of spam as a result of signing up with FeedBlitz. I did only sign up for the free service though, which means there will be ads in the email notification you recieve. I can pay a monthly fee to make sure you get ad-free emails, but I'm not making any money off this - so I don't want to spend any!

Chase

February 1993-October 2008

Chase – I’m so sorry. I can’t do this, but I can’t not do it either. You’re my best friend. You have always been my best friend – I can’t remember when you weren’t. When my heart was broken, you still loved me. When my feelings were hurt, you were there. When I’d hurt others and didn’t deserve to be loved, you still loved me. This is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I know you’re not happy. I know you’re hurting. I know we’ve probably waited longer than we should have and that’s selfish on our part. I can’t imagine going to bed without you between us or at my feet tonight. I need to convince myself that you’d forgive me or you’d choose this if you could, but I’ll never know that for sure. I hate that I have to make this decision. I feel like an awful person and a horrible human being. You’ve been loyal and loving. You were always my comic relief when I needed it, when I was sick you’d lie beside me and comfort me. When I fell in love with Jeremy – you fell even harder. The best part of your day – every single day – was all three of us crawling into bed together, because that’s all it took to fill you with joy. Just our presence, both of us lying down and snuggling with you. Saying I love you isn’t strong enough, I can’t find the way to express it to you – people food, hugs and kisses, snuggling… None of it is enough. I can’t convince myself that you understand, that you’ve felt loved enough. I’ve done everything I can to make this day the easiest day for you that I can. I'm so sorry, Chase.